Singing the ABCs

This was taken over 6 months ago (September 7th to be exact... you were 2 years and 9 months) and daddy finally found the time to edit it into a fun little movie of Sascha singing the ABC song.

I just Love it!!! We had you sing it over and over again and tried to capture it on video so that he would have different angles and shots to work with and put together. It was still a challenge to get them all, especially when you tried to run off in one take.

I just love watching these little videos from before. It makes us remember how little you were, and how cute your little voice is just learning how to talk.

Swimming classes at Floaties

Sascha started swim classes over a month ago while I was still on maternity leave, and I have forgotten to write about this. So after your semi-dramatic experience with swim to John classes (aka the Nazi swim school), we decided to try Floaties in Poway. I've heard great things about them from a number of friends. You have already been swimming last year after the intense 2 week swim lessons, but then something happened. We are not really sure what it was, but you were terrified to go into the water. You screamed and begged not to go. I am so glad we started these lessons, because you are so much more comfortable in the water after just a few sessions. Swimming became one of our activities that we did on Tuesdays, after your ballet/tap dance class. Now that I am back at work, we moved it to Tuesday evenings.

I was definitely nervous taking you to your first class. We talked about it in the morning, and you seemed ok with it, but once we got there and got close to the pool you started to cry. Luckily parents don't have to go into the water with their kids unless they are under 1 years of age, so after resisting for a few minutes I just picked you up and handed you over to Mr. Josh - your swim instructor. You actually calmed down pretty quickly, which was good because by then Cameron started fussing and I needed to focus on him. Mr. Josh didn't try to push you too much during the first lesson, so that you could start to feel comfortable with him and build trust. You got rewarded with a lollipop the first time, since I knew it was pretty hard on you because you were still so scared. You are now on your 6th lesson and doing great. The first few you still hesitated about going in the water, but no crying at all, and you seemed to have a really great time once you were in. Mr. Josh puts you at ease and you splash around and play with toys. On your 6th lesson, you were already putting your face in the water and you jumped in from the side of the pool. I think we'll keep going to these until you really start to get the hang of it and become a good swimmer.

Now about Mr. Josh. I think you have a little crush on him. Daddy doesn't like this one bit, in fact his face changes as he hears you talk about Mr. Josh. He even asked me, why didn't I get a female instructor, but in all honesty I didn't even think about it. We just happened to get this one because the time spot worked out for us. Now you get excited to see Mr. Josh for your swim lessons. One evening after seeing some hot air balloons in the sky from our house, you told us that you want to go on one of those with Mr. Josh. Very romantic! haha You'll say to us that you want to go swimming with Mr. Josh but not daddy or mommy. I think that makes us a little sad, but we understand. You have a lot of fun with him in the water and you have grown attached. I am just really glad you are no longer screaming when we go in the pool. This should make our summers going to the pool much more enjoyable.

Sitting patiently and waiting for your turn

Resisting putting your head under the water

Some funny things you crack us up with lately (not related to swimming):

Sascha: "Mommy if you take this (one of her toys), i am going to be really mad"

Sascha: "Daddy, can you turn on (TV) my little pony?"

Daddy: "Sascha there is no my little pony on TV, I already looked"

Sascha: "If you find my little pony, I will be really proud of you"

Sascha while driving with daddy in mommy's car: "Daddy, Mommy's car is smaller than yours"

Daddy: "yes it is"

Sascha: "When it grows up it will be bigger than your car"

Sascha: "Mommy, where you going?"

Me: "I am going to work"

Sascha: "But why?"

Me: "Because I have to"

Sascha not waiting for me to finish my last sentence: "Because you make money?"

Me: "Yes to make money, so I can buy you more pretty dresses like the one you are wearing now"

Sascha: "Oh"

Hilarious! Where do you get this stuff? We've never talked about money with you!?

Going back to work...

Just thinking about this brings so many emotions up. I feel so torn... between trying to take care of the little ones - being a good mommy to you two and keeping up with everything else too.

This entry is really going to be more of a personal blog or some sort of an outlet for me to get my feelings and frustrations out.

My official return to work is March 30th, however I tried to go back a week early because of some training classes that my group is taking. I don't want to miss out on these, especially since they are being offered during "work hours" and an exact copy of a class being offered at UCSD Extension, because lets be honest I doubt I will have any time to take any classes outside work in the next year or two with 2 little ones at home, and I am always wanting to learn new things.

I must say this Monday was a super hard day. I got really sick over the weekend, and didn't even go into work untill after 11:00pm. Lada - our nanny that we had for Sascha started that morning. I had to run through everything with her, just to make sure she knew the ins and outs. I am so thankful we have her to look after Cameron now. I feel so comfortable with her and she is really great, and of course that puts me more at ease. Then I had called the doctor to try and get some antibiotics for myself because I was pretty sure my awful cold has turned into a sinus infection and I barely got any sleep for 2 nights now. I finally got into work, only to start figuring out where to pump, and how to get a key to the Mommy room. I work with some wonderful people, and my coworker Cindy pretty much took care of both of those things for me in a matter of 20 minutes. I came home at almost 6pm, exhausted! Luckily my sister and Aaron picked up Sascha from preschool and were all just waiting home for me with Cameron. I missed them terribly, they were all I could think about during the day. I was even frustrated sitting at a traffic light because I couldn't get home soon enough. I know first days are always tough, and I expected it since I've done this before, but it was even harder than I thought it would be.

Cameron didn't eat too well while I was gone, he slept a lot (probably due to me taking Benadryl the night before). Tuesday and Wednesday he wanted to eat every 2:30 - 3 hours, I couldn't produce fast enough, so had to supplement with some of my back up supply.

Wednesday I was getting ready to head back to work for another class on Thursday. I have mentally prepared myself to go in early and try to be more positive about being back. Monday was stressful and everything seemed really rushed, so I was hoping to forget about it and start my day fresh. I even told myself to put my bitterness aside, which I still have bottled up because my managers boss did not approve for me to have a 4 day a week schedule. I am not even going into details on that, but I was extremely upset and disappointed when I got the news a few weeks ago. Being there for 10 years now, my whole family practically works there, I've never asked for a single thing. This was a big deal to ask for, but it's so important to me to have that extra day with my kids, I was really counting on it because my manager seemed very supportive of it. Well I decided we'll figure out another option, I will use up all my PTO for it, and Jeromey and I will take turns at taking every other Friday off, we'll make it work. So as I was gearing up for work that night, I got a crazy allergic reaction! I've never experienced anything like it. Without going into too much detail, I had hives all over my body which itched like crazy, and a puffy red face. I looked like a train reck... I was seriously scared to look in the mirror without freaking out. I took 2 benadryl pills which was the oncall dr's recommendation, and it helped get the hives gone, but I was out of commission for Thursday. I am still dealing with it, but it's getting better. I had to stop taking the antibiotic that was prescribed for my sinus infection because it's most likely a reaction to it. For a little while I thought may be I am "allergic to work"... is this some sort of sign? haha Could this be caused by the anxiety and stress I have about returning to work? The whole time I am just thankful that it's not the kids who are sick, and just me.

I wish I had all the answers.

How do I manage to be there for my babies when they need me? I want to spend more time with them, then I am at work. I want to go on little get aways with my hubby with just the two of us. I want to be at work, and give 100% but lets face it, this is nearly impossible. How do I achieve this perfect balance in my life? I want to keep up with this blog because I love looking back and reading about what we did a year ago, and I want to remember these events that we quickly forget because they usually get replaced with other fun and exciting ones. They grow up so fast, and this is my electronic baby book for them. I want to keep up with my digital scrap booking I started and really love! I want to take more pictures, more video! I want to take another photography class, and a Photoshop class! The list goes on...

I am sure these are the things that all working moms deal with... I know I am not alone. I know for us it would be very difficult to sustain our house on just one salary, and I do NOT want to stop working completely, I enjoy what I do most of the time :), I can't really picture myself doing anything else, I just want to find this perfect balance where I still get to go to Sea World, the Zoo or do art projects with my kids, while teaching them the importance of hard work, and going to college and being successful.

Hard work comes from both being a stay at home Mommy or one going to work, so I hope they get to grow up and learn these qualities and be wonderful human beings.

I guess it's just an internal struggle, I want to be the best mom I know how to be, and I think I am, it's just hard not to second guess yourself. I love them dearly, and that's probably why I have such a hard time letting go of some things or feeling like I am lacking at something because there is just not enough time in the day to really do it all.

Dear Sascha and Cameron, I hope you know that mommy loves you to pieces (Daddy too of course!) and we just want the best for you!

Lets hope I make it through the next few weeks without anymore sicknesses of mine or yours, and get more or less in the new routine of being back at work. I am sure it's all just a matter of time before I and you both get used to the new schedule.

4 Months

So after your exciting roll overs, you haven't really done many since. Your new things is rolling on your side from being on your back. After doing it multiple times I find you completely turned around 180 degrees from the initial place I put you down.

You did well with your shots at the doctors. You didn't like the taste of the one they put in your mouth, and the other two shots also weren't a fan, but once I picked you up you calmed down and by the time we were back in the car you were asleep. I wasn't sure if we should get your shots since once again you caught Sascha's little cold. The symptoms are a bit worse this time around. Your nose is super stuffed up and it makes you cough. Not fun! You are not eating as well either... but hopefully you are on the mend.

Stats:

Length: 25.5 inches - 66%

Weight: 14 lbs - 25%

Head: 16 inches - 10%

Funny but Sascha was also exactly 14 lbs, but at her 6 month appointment. Looks like you are about 2 months ahead.

You did something cute on the way back from the doctors appointment. While driving, I hear this buzzing noise and I look back and see that you got a hold of the little froggy toy that's hanging off the carrier arm, and have been pulling it down. You pull it down, it gathers back up, you pull it down, and it goes right up. You must have kept doing it at least a dozen times and it's the first time you reached up and actually grabbed something completely on your own. I've been putting things in your hands and you hold on to that, but this was totally you.

Here are some latest photos of my handsome little boy.

You just love sucking on your hands & thumbs

All smiles

Sitting up in a chair... looking serious

Rolling Over

A few days before turning 4 months old, you started to consistently roll over. Seems like it's much easier for you to roll on a softer surface like the crib mattress. On the floor you've only done it a few times. Good job little guy, we are already so proud of your accomplishments.

Another thing you started doing this week is little sit ups in your bouncer or swing. It's like you're trying to sit up already. So cute... and drooly when you're sitting. I sure hope you're not getting any teeth just yet. I love your huge toothless grin. Sascha has been making you smile a lot lately, and sometimes you will even giggle. She loves to make you smile and get a reaction when she is around you. Also I've discovered that you may be a bit ticklish under your arm pits... it's so funny trying to tickle you and watch you squirm and squeal. Too cute! I need to make a new video soon. I am afraid when I start work I will be struggling to find the time to do this sort of thing on a regular basis.

Here is a little video I added!

A Snowy Afternoon

We've been planning to go to Lake Arrowhead for the weekend with our friends -the Roberts Family, however things like bad weather and kids sicknesses have been preventing us from going. We ended up going to Mount Laguna for an afternoon to see if we can find some snow there to play in and we were in luck. The crazy part of this is when we left our house it was already 70+ degrees. When we reached Lakeside, it was 80 and I remember thinking I bet we are in for a disappointment and there will be no snow. Luckily that wasn't the case, and it snowed so much a few weekends in a row that they still had plenty once we got up to a higher elevation. Only in San Diego... you leave the 80 degree warmth and go play in the snow. It was exceptionally warm even once we hit the snowy parts, around 62 degrees.

Cameron's first time in the snow was a big hit, except for when I tried to go down the slide with him. He was snug in the Ergo carrier, but didn't like the bumpy ride so he started crying, I guess it wasn't such a good idea to sled with him after all.

Sascha was a bit apprehensive about the snow at first, also you didn't love getting stuck in it, and that happened a lot, but then as usual, you had a really great time. You went sledding a few times, and threw snowballs at daddy, Sebastian and Ethan, and towards the end you enjoyed eating the snow as well. The kids had a great time sledding and throwing snowballs around. Then we had a very tasty dinner at Marichiaros Italian restaurant which is one of daddy's favorites from his childhood days. We followed it up by going to Vanessa & David's house to play games which is always a good time. Once it was time to leave, you of course refused to go, I think you had way too much fun with the boys.

Fun family day

I just love her curls!

Sweet baby Cameron loves being held

Sebastian and Sascha love hanging out together