Great Grandparents

Today your great grandfather and my grandfather Mikhail passed away. We found out a little over a month ago that he had Cancer which has spread to many of his organs, and being 90 years old of course there would be no treatment. The last few weeks have been tough to watch... he got really weak and skinny, slept a lot. Almost 2 weeks ago we took you to see him because he seemed to be getting much worse and when I saw him, we asked if he would like to see you and he seemed to be excited at the opportunity, so I brought you with me. He was happy to see you. Of course you wouldn't sit still very long so it was a very brief stay, but I was glad that he got to see you before he went. He was the last grandparent on my side. My grandma & his wife Sofia had passed away last October and we all miss her terribly. Before that both of the grandparents on my dad's side Maria and Lev also passed away within a few years of each other. You never met grandma Maria because you came along after she passed, but you did see grandpa Lev a few times when you were a baby. Of course you will not remember them which is why I wanted to make sure I said a few things about them and post some pictures.

I was a lot closer to the grandparents on my mom's side, probably because they always lived in the same city we lived in, and as a child I spent many many days at their house. Grandma Sofia was one of the most sweetest and selfless people I have ever known, she lived for her kids/grand kids & great grand kids. There wasn't anything in the world that she wouldn't do for us. You were named Sascha after her because she is just the most wonderful person and I loved her very much. Both grandparents have been through a lot in their lives. They survived World War II. Both grandfathers fought in WW II, and have earned many medals and honors for it. Grandpa Mikhail had even written a book about his experiences with the Nazi's and specific battles he fought in. On his 90th Birthday in November there was a front page article in the San Diego Union Tribune about his contributions in WW II. He was a very brave young man, and none of us could imagine the hardships they've gone through in their long lives. They all lived to 85 and beyond and that's truly impressive considering how difficult life was in Russia, and they adapted the best that they could once we came to the States in 1993. Grandpa Mikhail was especially motivated. I will always admire his drive to learn and to challenge himself is so many ways. He was determined to learn English, he stayed very active in the Russian Jewish Veteran community through out his 17 years here. I've definitely always admired his ability and desire to never stop being curious and taking each challenge as a learning opportunity, it was definitely something he's taught all of us in the family. I am sad that i will not be attending his funeral or the wake. It is sort of a custom Russian/Jewish, I really am not sure who comes up w/these things, but a pregnant woman is not supposed to go to the cemetery or the wake. I was hoping to at least be present at the wake after wards, but my family insisted and said he wouldn't want that. I was really upset at first, but I do understand where they are coming from. Since all of them have passed in the last 5 years, and I've gone to them all, I just wished I could have been there for grandpa Mikhail's too. I am sure there is going to be a lot of great things said, as he was a remarkable man, and many loved him. I will be able to pay my respects after the baby is born.

I also have fond memories of the grandparents on my dad's side. I've spent a few summers visiting them in Odessa on my own as a child and with my sister and we always had a great time. Grandpa Lev had 7 siblings and his parents, who he never saw after he came back from WW II, he was led to believe that all of them died in the holocaust since his family lived in the outskirts of Poland at the time and the Nazi's had come there to destroy the Jews. It was such an awful time in history, and it's something he had lived with his whole life.

I am sad that you will grow up not knowing them.

Us with grandpa Mikhail & grandma Sofia

I will never forget my grandparents dancing at our wedding. Towards the very end of the reception, we did a song where the couples dance and they call out the number of years that they have been married and the couples leave the dance floor who have been married the shortest amount of time. Back in 2005, they were already married over 60 years, so of course they were the last couple dancing on the floor. Grandpa was so into it, he was having a blast, my grandma tried her best to keep up. It was one of the sweetest moments that I will cherish forever... and I am so happy that they were there.

Not a recent picture. Sascha is about a year and a half. But it's rare to find a picture where they are both smiling, and this is probably one of the last ones... so I chose this one.

I could not find any pictures of my other grandparents, most of them are not digital and need to be scanned, but I will be sure to add them here once I get them from my dad.

This was the eulogy that Jeromey read at his funeral... I had written it only an hour before his funeral and emailed it to Jeromey while he was still at work, so he could print it out and read it at either the funeral or the wake. Many of the things I already mentioned above... but I wanted to post it anyways, so that I know I can always look back and read it here. It's about both grandpa Mikhail and grandma Sofia.

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I have so many fond memories of my grandfather Mikhail since we were lucky enough to have always lived within a 20 mile radius of each other my whole life.

I remember spending many days in their home back in Sevastopol where Grandma Sofia and Grandpa Mikhail would help take care of my sister and I. It was certainly a second home for us, and we looked forward to spending time together .

I remember him enjoying going to work, and one time in particular, I even got to visit him in his office in one of the tallest buildings in the city, which was very exciting for me as a child.

During some months of the year, my grandfather would take me to the parades that used to happen in near their home, and I cannot forget walking hand-in-hand with him and grandma in the beautiful green parks.

I always enjoyed the time I spent with both of them. I have always had great respect for both of my grandparents. While Grandma was the rock that kept things together in the house, Grandpa was the determined, motivated, and extremely hard working provider. He took so much pride in what he did, and it was always known that he was doing it to take good care of his family.

As I got older I remember the message he would constantly share with us, "hard work and dedication will persevere". He was always very encouraging to both my sister and I about how important education and learning was. He really practiced what he preached, and by this tremendous example that he provided, both of his children worked very hard to earn & achieve the many things they have been able to accomplish in their lives. I can only thank my grandparents for giving their children and eventually their grandchildren those values.

Grandpa always placed such a strong emphasis on learning. He also used to say to us “Live 100 years, Learn 100 years, and you will still have much to learn.” Coming to the states in his 70's, it was clear that his learning never stopped. He looked at each challenge that was presented to him as an opportunity to learn: learning how to drive a car, learning how to speak English, he never stopped trying, it didn't matter if his speaking was not yet perfect, he would try to get better at it, and he took every opportunity to encourage all of us to do the same each time a challenge was presented.

Another very honorable quality that I have forever admired about him is his desire to help others. Regardless of whether you had asked him or not, he would offer to try and make things better if he saw the need. Not just our family, but other people around him as well. He seemed to be the person people turned to for help, and he would always try to do his best to provide it.

One of the best memories that I will ever have is one that happened almost 5 years ago, when he danced at our wedding with grandma. Towards the very end of the reception, all of the couples were asked to dance together, and as they called out the number of years that a couple has been married, the couples that had been married for the shortest amount of time would be asked to leave the dance floor. Back in 2005, Grandma and Grandpa were already married over 60 years, so of course they were the very last couple dancing on the floor. Grandpa was so into it, he was having such a wonderful time living in the moment, and my grandma tried her very best to keep up. It was one of the sweetest moments that I will cherish forever. I am so very grateful for this lasting image of love and devotion that our grandparents both gave us.

I will always love him and miss him greatly.

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An Update

Potty training is going well. You are now accident free at daycare and at home about 90% of the time which is pretty darn good. We still have trouble when we go somewhere, I have been putting you in a pull up just to be safe, or may be out of laziness because I don't know if I will encounter a bathroom in time, and if you will be willing to sit on one of these folding potties which I purchased. Sometimes you do very well on it, other times you refuse to use it. It just seems a lot harder for you to go when you're not in a familiar place. I try to take you, but you resist, but when you actually need to go, you don't know where to run to like you do at home or daycare and you don't always ask to go. So it's a work in progress, but I would say you're about 80% potty trained. :)

My pregnancy is going well. It's definitely a different experience being pregnant and taking care of a toddler. My back pains go away and come back, usually they come back during the weekend when I am doing way too much. I gone to a few prenatal yoga classes and have regular visits to the chiropractor & massage therapist which helps loosen things up. We have another ultrasound at 28 weeks to check on the kidneys of the baby, so I am looking forward to checking the little guy out on the screen. With Sascha we only had one ultrasound, and w/this one it's already our 3rd one. I feel like I am getting pretty big, and carrying this one very differently, it just looks like a have a big ball under my shirt. I am really starting to gain some weight I think, or at least that's the feeling I get, although my doctor said I've only gained about 15 lbs so far. 3rd trimester is just around the corner... We are very excited to meet this little guy! It's probably time to start working on changing up the rooms, but we haven't really started. Still have 3 months and there is not a whole lot we plan to do other than paint and put Sascha's new room together. It will be so fun to have her go to a big girl bed... we can start reading her stories in bed.

Seems like Sascha is ready for a little sibling to come along. She is so excited when we see our friends with babies. She talks about them, she always asks to hold them. At daycare, most kids have been all around Sascha's age, and recently they got a one year old and a 5 month old, and Galia tells me how she always comes over and is very gentle with the baby, and how she always wants to help. You are especially concerned if the baby cries. So cute! We've always told you to be gentle, and now you kiss my belly almost daily. I hope you have an easy adjustment when this little boy comes. You seem very independent, and a non-jealous type, at least lately so hopefully that means you will have an easier transition. Part of me feels a little bit bad about the whirlwind of things that are all coming your way in the next 3 months. You'll be moving rooms, going to a big girl bed, you will have a surgery, then 3 weeks later you will most likely start preschool and then in another 3 or 4 weeks the baby arrives! I am really going to try to break up all of these events to give you as much time as we can, but some of the events are really out of my hands. I am sure you will be fine, I just can't help but worry.

The surgery has been moved up to September 15th, so we now have more time to recover and probably start preschool in mid October. I've talked to multiple doctors and it seems like all of them have a similar opinion of just getting it over with considering that there has been no improvement in the last 3 years. So it gives me more comfort to go ahead with our decision and just hope that everything works out in the end. Everyone says how fast kids heal and you won't remember it being so young, hopefully it won't be too traumatizing or painful. It's really one of the worst feelings to see your kids in pain, hurt or sick, and not something you can truly understand until you have a child of your own. I have said this many times, but now I can see why my parents would worry as much as they did, and why they may have seemed so overprotective or unreasonable. You really can't understand why until you have kids of your own.

Oh did I mention that we got a huge playset in our back yard now. Early Bday/Christmas present! You waited patiently for a week to get it all built and it took daddy all weekend long, but at last this was your excited face... you love it! And we love watching you play on it!

And here are a few from our latest outing to the zoo

Mission Bay Adventures

Last weekend we went on grandpa Dave's boat out to Mission Bay. You haven't been on his boat since you were just 6 or 7 months old, so I knew this was going to be a fun little activity. On the way there you refused to nap, so once we got on the boat you seemed to be super tired, but then you got your 2nd wind and were fine. Funny thing happened when we drove there. Daddy got a phone call from Grandpa and you were really loud in the car where he could hardly hear, so I asked you to please stop screaming/talking while daddy is on the phone, which you did. But once daddy got off the phone, you opened up your little princess toy cell phone and told us repeatedly "Stop talking, Sascha is on the phone!" We were laughing so hard. You said it to us over and over again until we arrived at Mission Bay. Hilarious! It's crazy to me how you pick this up so quickly, and turn it around to work in your favor, I have a feeling we are going to be in so much trouble with you!

We got on the boat and you weren't too thrilled to wear the life jacket, but you had no choice, plus you saw that your cousins Carolyn and Angelina were wearing one as well. We had a really nice and relaxing time cruising around. When we got to a quiet area, daddy went on the tube and both Carolyn and Angelina tried tubing for the first time. We went very slow, so it was safe. Once you saw the girls go, you declared that it was your turn! I was a bit nervous, I really didn't expect you to want to go in the water. You refuse to go swimming lately because of some crazy fear you developed. So I quickly changed you into swim clothes and off you went to daddy on the tube. It was so cute! You had that "new experience" look on your face, but you seemed fearless. You gave us a thumbs up and waived bye and sat on daddy's lap in the tube. He had you splash with your feet and then lay on your belly and splash with your hands and at one point he even held you up standing. You had a big smile on your face the whole time, so I am pretty sure you enjoyed it.

Another funny thing happened while you were on the boat with me. Once daddy was done w/you girls, grandpa kicked things up in high gear and we were going very fast while he was still on the tube. First you didn't want to sit still, then you realized you really should otherwise you will fall, so you held on to me. Then you discovered that daddy wasn't on the boat and were very concerned, so I showed you that he was still on the tube being pulled, so you calmed down. But then once daddy fell of the tube into the ocean, you started crying "daddy fell", "daddy fell". You were so concerned! You only stopped once you saw that he was safely back in the boat. You even held the red flag out for a while... as if you knew that it meant person in the water.

Uncle Zac went tubing and wake boarding afterwards and you had the same reaction, even though we warned you that Zac is going in, and he will be ok when he falls because he can swim and has a life jacket on. You kept saying "Zac not fall", but once he did you were back to yelling and crying until you saw him safely back in the boat. So cute!!!

Splashing around

Just got on the tube... looking excited