Ultrasound @ 28 weeks

I had this done over a month ago, but forgot all about it with so many other things going on. The baby measured a bit bigger again, so that's good... looks like he's growing well. The main point of this ultrasound was to check the kidneys because of our history with reflux and most measurements taken were normal or borderline. There was one measurement of the cross section of one kidney that was over the normal 4mm mark. The doctor did suggest that we do a follow up ultrasound of the baby's kidneys once he is born. From what I've read, there is about 30% chance of this baby having the reflux that Sascha also has, so we just have to be aware and know what to expect. There may still be nothing to worry about. These measurements are very preliminary and it's one of the most common ones that turn out abnormal, so I am not thinking too much about it at this point, we'll know more when the baby is born.

The ultrasound took a very long time, for some reason something looked "strange" on the image w/the placenta, so after the tech took the images to the doctor I had to lay down again for the doctor to try and get a better picture, when they still couldn't they had to check the cervix and make sure I wasn't dilated, because of the way things looked on the images. I got a bit worried of course, but once everything got cleared up, things were fine and I was on my way out. I won't be having any follow up ultrasounds at the hospital, unless there are other reasons for it. I'll be having one at 35 weeks at my OB's office to check the position of the baby. He's been moving a ton lately! As soon as I lay down and try to go to sleep the kicking begins, and it's strong! It's like a party had just begun. :) The 3rd trimester aches and pains had begun weeks ago, and I am feeling cramps and a lot of pressure once I get up after sitting for a while, and then I am feeling back pains if I am standing up, walking for a long time. I am usually getting up 3 times a night to empty the bladder, so I guess I'll be ready for all those middle of the night feedings that are coming my way. At least now I am able to go back to sleep most of the time. I asked the doctor what her policy on inducing is, and after 38 and half weeks I can be induced, hurray! I of course have a feeling the baby will be here before due date like last time (especially because I just feel like I've gotten much bigger belly w/this pregnancy). I am sure it could mean nothing at all and I hope I don't have any issues and make it to at least 38 weeks, but I am definitely not going over my due date of November 19th. We are getting more and more excited to meet this little guy. It would of course help if we had a name picked out too, but we are still contemplating. We have a favorite or two but we still haven't decided for sure. Seems like girl names are much easier for us than boy ones. We just can't seem to settle on one. At one point we had the middle name decided and now that's changing too. Hope we decide in the next 2 months!

I only got one picture from the last ultrasound and it was of his face.

I am now at 33 weeks, 7 weeks to go! Time is definitely flying by and we are getting more and more excited for this baby to come out so we can meet him. I've also been a little anxious about it. How will Sascha adjust? What's it going to be like - a family of 4, with two little kiddos under 5 years old! Definitely some exciting times ahead!!! For now I am just really trying to enjoy our time with her because I know once the baby comes, my attention will have to be divided and limited, so for now I am still enjoying having her be the center of our universe.

Post-Surgery

At last we are home 3 days later! 3 of the most difficult days we've ever had. This is going to be a record long post of mine. I'll start from the beginning:

We planned to arrive at the hospital on Wednesday at 1pm since the surgery got moved to 2 hrs earlier than originally scheduled. You didn't really have any idea why we were going there, although I told you that we're going to go to see the doctor and he is going to fix your little problem so you won't have to take medicine every day. You seemed ok most of the day without eating (not very surprising since you are not a good eater to begin with). Only, right before we were leaving you started asking for snacks and we quickly put you in the car and left. I remember Daddy and I staring at each other for a moment before we turned on the car. We knew we were about to begin a really tough day.

We checked in, signed all the paperwork, and a few nurses talked to us about the procedure and took your vitals. First they asked you to put on a "special shirt" and explained that little girls who wore the special shirt got a popsicle later. You seemed very excited about the idea of getting a popsicle, and you quickly pulled off your shirt and asked for help to put on the special one. There was also a number of bright fake fish tanks that you seemed very interested in, as well as stickers. You must have asked the nurse who gave you a sticker to give you more about 10 times. She thought you were cute and couldn't resist allowing you to raid her sticker stash again and again.

Then we just waited until about 3pm, at which time the doctor walked in to talked to us about what to expect, and to see if we had any concerns or questions. As usual, we were concerned about the bladder catheter, and whether you shouldn't have it because we thought you would attempt to pull it out at your first opportunity. We agreed that he would simply make the decision during the surgery. After we talked he made a comment to you about how pretty your shirt was, and you immediately replied with "I want to get a popsicle." It was just precious. Afterwards the anesthesiologist came in with the nurse to meet you. They mentioned that we would be going to the "popsicle room" in just a few minutes. It was almost time.

At that point I gave you a huge hug and a kiss, and daddy asked if we could go in to be with you until you went to sleep, and they only let daddy come because of the gas and me being pregnant. Once you left the room, I was really upset, then I saw Daddy come back in and he was upset too. He said that you were happy to be going to the popsicle room and were very excited, but then when you entered the operating room you had a puzzled look on your face. You got to pick a strawberry flavor for your mask, and after Daddy lifted you up on the operating table, you got to smell the mask, but that after a few seconds of laying there with the mask on your face, you started to say "All done!".

We then both moped our way to the cafeteria to get some food and wait. After about 2 hours we were called from the waiting room and talked to Dr. Aligiri who operated on you. He said that surgery went well and you are sleeping in a recovery room where they will call one of us over to be with you once you start waking up. So off we went to another waiting area and in another 40 minutes they called us in. I walked in and could hear you crying, but as soon as you saw me I distracted you with little ducky good luck charms that Aaron gave you the night before and you immediately calmed down. You went in and out of sleep most of the hour or two that we waited there until your room was ready. You seemed really groggy after anesthesia which is to be expected, but you definitely recognized us. You had a few sips water, but you weren't able to keep that down.

Since only one parent was allowed in the recovery room, Daddy and I switched back and forth. While I was in the recovery room, you asked "where is Daddy?" and when Daddy was in the room with you, your asked "where is Mommy?" Grandpa David came and waited in the waiting room with us too, to keep each of us company. Also, our friend Jacob came to see you and he was able to just walk into the recovery area with his badge since he is a second year resident there. He read the surgery report and assured us that everything went well.

Finally we got transported to your room. Baba and Deda came to see you shortly after. The charge nurse allowed us both to stay in the room with you that night even though it was against the policy, however, there was only one chair that pulled out into a semi-bed, and a regular chair. Needless to say it was incredibly uncomfortable. You seemed to be super tired and out of it, so we were hoping you would go to sleep. That is definitely not something you or we did that night. You started to have bladder spasms, so they put you on Ditropan, and then your diaper wasn't wet at all, so a few hours later they had to pull the urine out of the catheter connected through a small incision directly to your bladder, that they put in during surgery. We worried about having this stent in from the very beginning thinking you would pull it out. Sure enough the first night once you got a bit more alert you wanted everything out, the stent and the IV. You started screaming in Daddy's arms saying "take it out!!!" and we had to put arm restraints on you so that you couldn't bend your arms. After all that, you finally fell asleep for a little while and so did we. Most of the night you did not sleep more than a few hours. We noticed that a lot of fluid was leaking out of your incision, so the nurse had to reinforce it with more padding. Thank God we were both there because I don't think we could have gotten through it on our own, I know I couldn't have.

The next day seemed like it was going to get better. You asked to go potty, actually went, and you had a few wet diapers too. This was the best thing you could have done, so we were very excited at the progress. Once the doctor heard that, they decided they would take the stent out, and lower your fluids so that you can start to want to drink things on your own. You walked a little bit and we went in the playroom, and you seemed to be doing ok. A few hours went by and you weren't drinking or eating, and the one time you tried a tiny bite (because Daddy and I were begging you to eat so that we could go home), you once again couldn't keep it down. So they decided to keep you for another night. I think you were very nauseous from the tylenol with codeine, even though they gave you anti-nausea medication, so we switched to regular tylenol.

Later that evening you seemed to be in a better mood, and I started to feel cramps in my tummy so my parents talked me into going home with them so I could get a few hours of solid sleep and come back in the early morning. It broke my heart to leave, but I felt like it was probably for the best, since we didn't want to go into preterm labor. I returned back to the hospital by 6:30 am, but did not get good news. You didn't drink or pee very much, so they upped your fluids again, and you ran a small fever. I found you sleeping in daddy's mini-couch with him. He once again had only a few hours of sleep. That morning was pretty miserable, not only did you not eat or drink, you stopped peeing. By noon that day it had become a big concern and if you didn't pee in the next hour, the doctor wanted to put a catheter in. You were clearly so uncomfortable. Any time we put you on your feet you must have felt the pressure from the bladder and cried to get picked up. You fell asleep on daddy multiple times. You were never as comfortable on my lap, it must have been my big tummy pushing up against yours, luckily you have an amazing Daddy, he knew how to comfort you, and make you feel better, and he helped keep me sane through out these crazy few days.

So for the next hour or may be even two we begged, bribed and did everything to make you go on a potty or in your diaper. You kept saying it hurts, so you were back on tylenol with codeine. Then you kept saying that you will try to go in your diaper, but it didn't happen. We don't know why... may be once you were off the stronger med, you felt the pain and decided you didn't want to do that anymore, after all it's one of the few things you still had control over... your bladder. The staff at Children's even set up a little lunch date for you in the playroom with another little girl who was recovering from surgery. They tried everything they could as well, including outright bribes of Disney and Dora books. Nothing could tempt you.

By 2pm, they had to cath you. Daddy and I felt defeated, frustrated, and extremely upset, the one and only thing we were trying to avoid was going home with any external things that you would be able to pull out. Now, having an extra incision for the stent that was pulled out a day earlier was totally pointless, but who could have known. We certainly did not want to watch you go through getting that put in again like they do during your yearly bladder test. You actually did ok with 3 nurses standing over you putting in a catheter. I was more of a mess. I am sure you were once again frightened, but we turned on the TV to have you focus on something other that what was being done and daddy hovered over you to try and distract you as well. It actually wasn't as horrible as we expected and we could tell how much better you felt once they relieved that pressure, your poor tummy was so hard for hours.

The doctors came in to talk to us an hour later and said that we would go home with it, they assured us that it's actually for the best because you won't have a chance to overextend your bladder and damage the repair that they had done during the surgery. They said if we want we can stay an extra night, or we could see how you do for a few more hours and decide to go home in the evening. We had lunch outside, while Grandpa held you in his arms and you watched a little girl run around on the playground. You no longer had a fever, you managed to eat a few crackers, and seemed like you were drinking too, so we decided it would be best to go home. They showed us how to take care of the bag, and got us ready to go home. Some of the things you constantly said while at the hospital: "Take it off!" - about the IV, "Don't touch!" - when we would open your diaper or touch any other part that would hurt, "Pick - a - me up!" - you hated the crib bed you laid in, and wanted to be held and comforted, "I want to go home!" - this broke my heart multiple times.

As soon as you realized we were going home, you seemed different. You started talking, and you even said bye, thank you, and blew a kiss to your wonderful nurse Jen. Grandpa helped carry you and our things to the car, and we headed home. When we got home, we put you on a chair and I offered you some yogurt and you gladly took it. I was shocked. Then Baba and Deda came, as well as Inna, Grisha and Aaron. You were very excited to see all of them, especially Aaron. After they visited for a little while, we put you to bed. We were going to keep you in our bed so that you can be close, but you said you wanted to go into yours, and once we laid you down, you didn't move much. I checked on you multiple times during the night and we emptied your pee-bag once and you didn't even wake up. You got up around 7:30am and were ready for your milk and requested to see "Beauty and the Beast". You complained about something hurting so we gave you some Tylenol. Your first day at home was wonderful, you ate, you drank a ton, and we kept you busy with all the new books, and toys that you got while at the hospital.

You sure got a lot of things while being there. Grandpa Dave was able to find Donald Duck for you, and that sure put a smile on your face. You've been asking for Donald for months... and I haven't been able to find one for you. You also got a Raggedy Ann doll from Terri - a coworker who passed it along to my mom, Baba also brought a Matreoshka - russian nested doll that you love to play with at their house to look for Malenkaya - the smallest little doll that you find at the very end of opening up all the other dolls. You got a ton of new books from others who came to see you, and a few from the nurses at the hospital. The staff there was just wonderful. What difficult jobs they have to take care of sick kids! Our families and friends have been so incredibly supportive throughout this whole ordeal. Everyone who knows and cares about you called us or our parents, texted, or messaged on Facebook to see how you were doing just about every day that we were at the hospital. We are truly thankful and appreciative for all of their love and support. It was such a tough time for us and we knew that we were in everyone's thoughts and prayers that you would recover well.

So back to being at home.... you wouldn't take a nap, even though you looked really tired. Baba and I tried for a few hours in our bed, your bed, the couch... you just wanted to play. You became so much more active, you were able to get up on your own, walk around freely (even though you had a bag strapped to you leg). We kept you in your footy PJ's all day so that it would hide the bag and you couldn't easily access it, and it actually worked very well. At first you hated when we did anything w/it, but then you discovered that it really doesn't hurt at all, so now you don't seem to mind it. I couldn't be more thrilled with how today went!!! It would have been nice to have you nap too, but hey... we can't have it all can we?

I refused to take pictures of you at the hospital. I think more than anything I want to forget that you were ever there. Daddy took a picture of you with his phone in the playroom the day after surgery when you were actually doing fairly well. So here is one from the playroom in your little gown playing with dinosaurs and another few after we got home.

First few minutes at home surrounded by your toys

The next morning reading one of your new books on the floor with Daddy

Pre - Surgery

Well, it's a few days before your surgery, and I must say even though the last couple of weeks I have seemed to accept the fact that this is happening, I am still so uneasy and nervous. A few days ago, you developed a weird cough at night and I got really paranoid that you're getting sick and we may have to reschedule, but so far no other symptoms, so hopefully this is nothing to worry about.

I have been reading all sorts of things online about your condition (VUR) and the bilateral ureter transplant which is the official name of your surgery. There are definitely risks involved, like bladder spasms, infections and etc, but I have been reading about many success stories as well, after all this surgery has been performed for almost 100 years, and has 98-99 % success rate. I am so thankful that this can be done to fix your bladder problem. We are hoping and praying that you get through it well. I hope to keep it together and stay strong for you, lately I have been able to, but being pregnant I think I am twice as emotional, mostly it's when I think about leaving you for 2 or 3 agonizing hours of the actual procedure where we won't be able to know anything or see you and the fact that even if we explain what's happening to you, you won't really understand and you'll still be scared. I can't wait for it all to be over and hopefully forget all about this.

I already made your follow up tests in 2 months (the dreaded VCUG and an ultrasound), so in December we will find out for sure if you are reflux free and can be taken off the antibiotics for good. Hopefully that will be the last VCUG you will ever have to go through. Of course you will still need follow up ultrasounds to make sure your kidneys are developing well and there are no other issues.

I wonder how I will be able to keep you from eating on the day of the surgery. You can only have a light breakfast before 8am. Sometimes you are not even awake at 8am, and then when you ask for food at lunch, I will have to tell you no. :( You can only have liquids before 11am, and at 2pm we have to cut off everything. We may get a call to be able to move the surgery time to earlier than 5pm which will help this situation.

I've been putting together a list of things to take to the hospital, your favorite things, a few new toys, dvds. I really hope we figure out how to have both daddy and I spend the night with you since they only allow one person and he is insisting that I go home and rest. Hopefully it's just one night that we have to spend at the hospital, if all goes well during the surgery and your recovery, I think we may be going home the next evening.

The following 3 weeks we have to keep a close eye on your activities, keep you away from climbing things and swinging from the monkey bars because of the abdominal incision that needs time to heal. That I am sure will prove to be challenging because you are super active. Galia at daycare often says that you are definitely one of the most active children there. So we may have to keep you inside a lot, I am pretty sure you'll be watching a lot of TV! I guess it's one of the perks of being sick. Enjoy it while you can, since we are planning on you going to preschool a month after this surgery. It's cute, but you've said a few times now how you want to go to school, I think you'll really like preschool!

One of our few trips to the beach this summer. Apparently this summer has been one of the coolest summers in the last 30 years. We only had about a week or two when the temperatures got up to upper 90's. I of course am very thankful for a cold summer. It's no fun being pregnant in the heat. :)

Daddy drew Mickey and Minnie for you. You loved it! They are your favorite!

Great Grandparents

Today your great grandfather and my grandfather Mikhail passed away. We found out a little over a month ago that he had Cancer which has spread to many of his organs, and being 90 years old of course there would be no treatment. The last few weeks have been tough to watch... he got really weak and skinny, slept a lot. Almost 2 weeks ago we took you to see him because he seemed to be getting much worse and when I saw him, we asked if he would like to see you and he seemed to be excited at the opportunity, so I brought you with me. He was happy to see you. Of course you wouldn't sit still very long so it was a very brief stay, but I was glad that he got to see you before he went. He was the last grandparent on my side. My grandma & his wife Sofia had passed away last October and we all miss her terribly. Before that both of the grandparents on my dad's side Maria and Lev also passed away within a few years of each other. You never met grandma Maria because you came along after she passed, but you did see grandpa Lev a few times when you were a baby. Of course you will not remember them which is why I wanted to make sure I said a few things about them and post some pictures.

I was a lot closer to the grandparents on my mom's side, probably because they always lived in the same city we lived in, and as a child I spent many many days at their house. Grandma Sofia was one of the most sweetest and selfless people I have ever known, she lived for her kids/grand kids & great grand kids. There wasn't anything in the world that she wouldn't do for us. You were named Sascha after her because she is just the most wonderful person and I loved her very much. Both grandparents have been through a lot in their lives. They survived World War II. Both grandfathers fought in WW II, and have earned many medals and honors for it. Grandpa Mikhail had even written a book about his experiences with the Nazi's and specific battles he fought in. On his 90th Birthday in November there was a front page article in the San Diego Union Tribune about his contributions in WW II. He was a very brave young man, and none of us could imagine the hardships they've gone through in their long lives. They all lived to 85 and beyond and that's truly impressive considering how difficult life was in Russia, and they adapted the best that they could once we came to the States in 1993. Grandpa Mikhail was especially motivated. I will always admire his drive to learn and to challenge himself is so many ways. He was determined to learn English, he stayed very active in the Russian Jewish Veteran community through out his 17 years here. I've definitely always admired his ability and desire to never stop being curious and taking each challenge as a learning opportunity, it was definitely something he's taught all of us in the family. I am sad that i will not be attending his funeral or the wake. It is sort of a custom Russian/Jewish, I really am not sure who comes up w/these things, but a pregnant woman is not supposed to go to the cemetery or the wake. I was hoping to at least be present at the wake after wards, but my family insisted and said he wouldn't want that. I was really upset at first, but I do understand where they are coming from. Since all of them have passed in the last 5 years, and I've gone to them all, I just wished I could have been there for grandpa Mikhail's too. I am sure there is going to be a lot of great things said, as he was a remarkable man, and many loved him. I will be able to pay my respects after the baby is born.

I also have fond memories of the grandparents on my dad's side. I've spent a few summers visiting them in Odessa on my own as a child and with my sister and we always had a great time. Grandpa Lev had 7 siblings and his parents, who he never saw after he came back from WW II, he was led to believe that all of them died in the holocaust since his family lived in the outskirts of Poland at the time and the Nazi's had come there to destroy the Jews. It was such an awful time in history, and it's something he had lived with his whole life.

I am sad that you will grow up not knowing them.

Us with grandpa Mikhail & grandma Sofia

I will never forget my grandparents dancing at our wedding. Towards the very end of the reception, we did a song where the couples dance and they call out the number of years that they have been married and the couples leave the dance floor who have been married the shortest amount of time. Back in 2005, they were already married over 60 years, so of course they were the last couple dancing on the floor. Grandpa was so into it, he was having a blast, my grandma tried her best to keep up. It was one of the sweetest moments that I will cherish forever... and I am so happy that they were there.

Not a recent picture. Sascha is about a year and a half. But it's rare to find a picture where they are both smiling, and this is probably one of the last ones... so I chose this one.

I could not find any pictures of my other grandparents, most of them are not digital and need to be scanned, but I will be sure to add them here once I get them from my dad.

This was the eulogy that Jeromey read at his funeral... I had written it only an hour before his funeral and emailed it to Jeromey while he was still at work, so he could print it out and read it at either the funeral or the wake. Many of the things I already mentioned above... but I wanted to post it anyways, so that I know I can always look back and read it here. It's about both grandpa Mikhail and grandma Sofia.

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I have so many fond memories of my grandfather Mikhail since we were lucky enough to have always lived within a 20 mile radius of each other my whole life.

I remember spending many days in their home back in Sevastopol where Grandma Sofia and Grandpa Mikhail would help take care of my sister and I. It was certainly a second home for us, and we looked forward to spending time together .

I remember him enjoying going to work, and one time in particular, I even got to visit him in his office in one of the tallest buildings in the city, which was very exciting for me as a child.

During some months of the year, my grandfather would take me to the parades that used to happen in near their home, and I cannot forget walking hand-in-hand with him and grandma in the beautiful green parks.

I always enjoyed the time I spent with both of them. I have always had great respect for both of my grandparents. While Grandma was the rock that kept things together in the house, Grandpa was the determined, motivated, and extremely hard working provider. He took so much pride in what he did, and it was always known that he was doing it to take good care of his family.

As I got older I remember the message he would constantly share with us, "hard work and dedication will persevere". He was always very encouraging to both my sister and I about how important education and learning was. He really practiced what he preached, and by this tremendous example that he provided, both of his children worked very hard to earn & achieve the many things they have been able to accomplish in their lives. I can only thank my grandparents for giving their children and eventually their grandchildren those values.

Grandpa always placed such a strong emphasis on learning. He also used to say to us “Live 100 years, Learn 100 years, and you will still have much to learn.” Coming to the states in his 70's, it was clear that his learning never stopped. He looked at each challenge that was presented to him as an opportunity to learn: learning how to drive a car, learning how to speak English, he never stopped trying, it didn't matter if his speaking was not yet perfect, he would try to get better at it, and he took every opportunity to encourage all of us to do the same each time a challenge was presented.

Another very honorable quality that I have forever admired about him is his desire to help others. Regardless of whether you had asked him or not, he would offer to try and make things better if he saw the need. Not just our family, but other people around him as well. He seemed to be the person people turned to for help, and he would always try to do his best to provide it.

One of the best memories that I will ever have is one that happened almost 5 years ago, when he danced at our wedding with grandma. Towards the very end of the reception, all of the couples were asked to dance together, and as they called out the number of years that a couple has been married, the couples that had been married for the shortest amount of time would be asked to leave the dance floor. Back in 2005, Grandma and Grandpa were already married over 60 years, so of course they were the very last couple dancing on the floor. Grandpa was so into it, he was having such a wonderful time living in the moment, and my grandma tried her very best to keep up. It was one of the sweetest moments that I will cherish forever. I am so very grateful for this lasting image of love and devotion that our grandparents both gave us.

I will always love him and miss him greatly.

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An Update

Potty training is going well. You are now accident free at daycare and at home about 90% of the time which is pretty darn good. We still have trouble when we go somewhere, I have been putting you in a pull up just to be safe, or may be out of laziness because I don't know if I will encounter a bathroom in time, and if you will be willing to sit on one of these folding potties which I purchased. Sometimes you do very well on it, other times you refuse to use it. It just seems a lot harder for you to go when you're not in a familiar place. I try to take you, but you resist, but when you actually need to go, you don't know where to run to like you do at home or daycare and you don't always ask to go. So it's a work in progress, but I would say you're about 80% potty trained. :)

My pregnancy is going well. It's definitely a different experience being pregnant and taking care of a toddler. My back pains go away and come back, usually they come back during the weekend when I am doing way too much. I gone to a few prenatal yoga classes and have regular visits to the chiropractor & massage therapist which helps loosen things up. We have another ultrasound at 28 weeks to check on the kidneys of the baby, so I am looking forward to checking the little guy out on the screen. With Sascha we only had one ultrasound, and w/this one it's already our 3rd one. I feel like I am getting pretty big, and carrying this one very differently, it just looks like a have a big ball under my shirt. I am really starting to gain some weight I think, or at least that's the feeling I get, although my doctor said I've only gained about 15 lbs so far. 3rd trimester is just around the corner... We are very excited to meet this little guy! It's probably time to start working on changing up the rooms, but we haven't really started. Still have 3 months and there is not a whole lot we plan to do other than paint and put Sascha's new room together. It will be so fun to have her go to a big girl bed... we can start reading her stories in bed.

Seems like Sascha is ready for a little sibling to come along. She is so excited when we see our friends with babies. She talks about them, she always asks to hold them. At daycare, most kids have been all around Sascha's age, and recently they got a one year old and a 5 month old, and Galia tells me how she always comes over and is very gentle with the baby, and how she always wants to help. You are especially concerned if the baby cries. So cute! We've always told you to be gentle, and now you kiss my belly almost daily. I hope you have an easy adjustment when this little boy comes. You seem very independent, and a non-jealous type, at least lately so hopefully that means you will have an easier transition. Part of me feels a little bit bad about the whirlwind of things that are all coming your way in the next 3 months. You'll be moving rooms, going to a big girl bed, you will have a surgery, then 3 weeks later you will most likely start preschool and then in another 3 or 4 weeks the baby arrives! I am really going to try to break up all of these events to give you as much time as we can, but some of the events are really out of my hands. I am sure you will be fine, I just can't help but worry.

The surgery has been moved up to September 15th, so we now have more time to recover and probably start preschool in mid October. I've talked to multiple doctors and it seems like all of them have a similar opinion of just getting it over with considering that there has been no improvement in the last 3 years. So it gives me more comfort to go ahead with our decision and just hope that everything works out in the end. Everyone says how fast kids heal and you won't remember it being so young, hopefully it won't be too traumatizing or painful. It's really one of the worst feelings to see your kids in pain, hurt or sick, and not something you can truly understand until you have a child of your own. I have said this many times, but now I can see why my parents would worry as much as they did, and why they may have seemed so overprotective or unreasonable. You really can't understand why until you have kids of your own.

Oh did I mention that we got a huge playset in our back yard now. Early Bday/Christmas present! You waited patiently for a week to get it all built and it took daddy all weekend long, but at last this was your excited face... you love it! And we love watching you play on it!

And here are a few from our latest outing to the zoo

Mission Bay Adventures

Last weekend we went on grandpa Dave's boat out to Mission Bay. You haven't been on his boat since you were just 6 or 7 months old, so I knew this was going to be a fun little activity. On the way there you refused to nap, so once we got on the boat you seemed to be super tired, but then you got your 2nd wind and were fine. Funny thing happened when we drove there. Daddy got a phone call from Grandpa and you were really loud in the car where he could hardly hear, so I asked you to please stop screaming/talking while daddy is on the phone, which you did. But once daddy got off the phone, you opened up your little princess toy cell phone and told us repeatedly "Stop talking, Sascha is on the phone!" We were laughing so hard. You said it to us over and over again until we arrived at Mission Bay. Hilarious! It's crazy to me how you pick this up so quickly, and turn it around to work in your favor, I have a feeling we are going to be in so much trouble with you!

We got on the boat and you weren't too thrilled to wear the life jacket, but you had no choice, plus you saw that your cousins Carolyn and Angelina were wearing one as well. We had a really nice and relaxing time cruising around. When we got to a quiet area, daddy went on the tube and both Carolyn and Angelina tried tubing for the first time. We went very slow, so it was safe. Once you saw the girls go, you declared that it was your turn! I was a bit nervous, I really didn't expect you to want to go in the water. You refuse to go swimming lately because of some crazy fear you developed. So I quickly changed you into swim clothes and off you went to daddy on the tube. It was so cute! You had that "new experience" look on your face, but you seemed fearless. You gave us a thumbs up and waived bye and sat on daddy's lap in the tube. He had you splash with your feet and then lay on your belly and splash with your hands and at one point he even held you up standing. You had a big smile on your face the whole time, so I am pretty sure you enjoyed it.

Another funny thing happened while you were on the boat with me. Once daddy was done w/you girls, grandpa kicked things up in high gear and we were going very fast while he was still on the tube. First you didn't want to sit still, then you realized you really should otherwise you will fall, so you held on to me. Then you discovered that daddy wasn't on the boat and were very concerned, so I showed you that he was still on the tube being pulled, so you calmed down. But then once daddy fell of the tube into the ocean, you started crying "daddy fell", "daddy fell". You were so concerned! You only stopped once you saw that he was safely back in the boat. You even held the red flag out for a while... as if you knew that it meant person in the water.

Uncle Zac went tubing and wake boarding afterwards and you had the same reaction, even though we warned you that Zac is going in, and he will be ok when he falls because he can swim and has a life jacket on. You kept saying "Zac not fall", but once he did you were back to yelling and crying until you saw him safely back in the boat. So cute!!!

Splashing around

Just got on the tube... looking excited